Love of Teaching

I came upon this photo today. It is of my first class, my first year of being a teacher in a Waldorf school. It started out small and then grew to something like 20 kids. My assistant was a beautifully sweet, eternally wise and patient woman with the gentleness of a butterfly. I miss working with her. I learned so much in this first year. I remember how much time and attention I took, creating my classroom space, and gradually gathering small items for play, decor or the nature table throughout the year. It started out sparse, but as time went on, treasures were to be found in every cove and niche! I am ready to begin working with children in a classroom soon again, I think. I hope to be someone's assistant in the fall, while I continue my college classes part-time. Putting it on my blog may help to manifest this seedling idea, if the time is truly right.

Fun at the The Mothertree

Here are some pictures, compliments of Ms. Carolina Allen of Eugene's "Mothertree Haven for Early Childhood", a Waldorf home-based program. My daughter loves being with her in this world of wonder, more than anywhere else imaginable. Here is my little character at play with her friends on Tuesday, the day that they made a "new river" in the play yard. Such fun!

Painting with Reya

I just got the cranky toddler down for a nap (nice and early today). I set up paints for Reya at the table, envisioning a few moments of preoccupation for her, as I tackled the dishes and laundry that are waiting, no looming, around my home. I haven't cracked my math book once, and it is day three of the school term, but the children weren't sleeping well last night so I couldn't get any work done. Heading for the kitchen, I stopped at a small, sweet voice and turned to see her pure look of wanting me. "Paint with me, Mama", she said. I held my sigh, not wanting her to know my dilemma. "Of course I should paint with her", I thought. "That's how it is done." In a Waldorf school the children wouldn't be left to paint alone, yet here I am, a Waldorf teacher trying to prioritize housework and school work over my own child. "Yes", I said. Let me get some paper cut and wet for myself, and another tray." I sat down with Reya, and begin to sing our painting song- a ritual that I had nearly neglected. As yellow and blue flowed together and made green on my page, like the vivid springtime starting to emerge outside my window, I noticed the breath entering my body for the first time in this day. Maybe I needed it more than she did.

Rainbow faeries come to me.
Dance upon my paper, please.
Bring to me you colors bright,
filled with warmth and love and light.

Ants and Rant

Hello blog. I really missed you. This school term has been so thick with essays that I just couldn't bring myself to type another word that wasn't required as per syllabi. Also, the event of a broken elbow made the usage of my right hand a real pain in the behind. Here I am again, with so much to write that I don't have fast enough fingers.
I will begin with the simple and mundane:

I just bit into a Chocolove dark chocolate with candied ginger bar that has been hiding in my purse for over a week, waiting for a secret moment of quiet and indulgence. Here I am alone at home, compiling my journal and samples for my fibre art class, in preparation for Tuesday's final review. I took out the wrapped piece of sweetness, deftly removed the wrapper and broke off a piece of chocolate without looking. Practiced fingers knew just what to do without hesitation or mistake. A moment later, my mouth was filled with ants. I looked down, they were scrambling down my arms as well. I will have you know that the very reason that I broke my elbow was in a crazed attempt to eradicate ants from my bathroom in high places where I had to climb precariously on the tub faucet and soap dish to reach (I'm short). I fell. The ants won. Yesterday I found them climbing up the towel rack, and all over our hanging bath towels. Dead skin cells for dinner? Now they are taking over my purse to find my sacred stash of hidden chocolate. I am outraged. I am moving. I don't know where or how soon I can make it happen, but it is without question. Read on and hear why, if the ants aren't enough.
Bell Real Estate is the crappiest property management company that I have ever dealt with. They don't care. When I ask them to fix something, they don't. They then charge me for the hourly rate that the maintenance person who "looks at", but doesn't fix the problem charges them. My basement was flooding the other night, and I called to inform the landlord that water was pouring in near a main pipe that goes up to my kitchen sink. They made me sign a disclaimer when I moved in, that it was a "wet basement" and not for storage, so I was sure to let the guy on call know that I wasn't sure if it was coming from the pipe, or if it was just rain water coming from the hole around the pipe. When he offered to send the plumber out to check it out, I told him I didn't necessarily want that, because I was afraid of being charged, and was just wanting to notify them of a possible pipe leak that they should examine themselves before calling the plumber. They decided to send the plumber. He declared that it was indeed rain water pouring in at the rate of a gallon per minute. The landlord decided that this is something that they should not fix, because it is a "wet basement" of course. This is a little more extreme than I expected when signing the wet basement disclaimer. I was picturing dampness and mild leakage.A few days later I got a $162.oo bill in the mail from the landlord, for the plumber who came out to check the situation. They did that when I asked for someone to unplug my repeatedly clogging toilet. They said it was my fault because they had to remove "hard stool". Never mind their admittance that the main sewage line is clogged with years of roots that they refuse to clean out because they don't want the cost. Hard stool? Who cares what the texture is? It's a toilet. It's for poop. My debt with them is growing, and I have to wade in the basement in rubber boots in order to do laundry. I must mention that this place has no weatherization and my current electric bills are running nearly $400 monthly. I am careful with my power usage, and this place is only 900 or so square feet. The windows are not sealed and cold air flows in, while warm air flows out. It's only slightly more efficient than heating a screened in porch. It just isn't right, and I am racking up bills that I can't pay, between the utilities and the charges for plumbing and other repair people. Renters seem unprotected by the laws, and I have no recourse. I don't know where I am moving or how I will afford to do so, but I have decided. I am giving a thirty day notice and bailing on this hell hole ASAP.
Enough ranting. More pleasant blogging soon to come!

Verbal

The little cutie is starting to talk. His big sister spoke really early, and has always been verbal. He is so different. He is a master at body language. He doesn't really sign (I never followed through with teaching him), but has the most clear ways of telling us what he wants us to know. Still, it is very thrilling to finally hear words coming from his sweet, plump, pink lips. He loves to say "bye", and says it with utmost expressiveness, and repeatedly. Watch him in this video. He was playing peek-a-boo. We were saying, "where's baby?", and he started repeating his now 2'nd favorite word, "baby". So sweet. Try not to look at the background of the video. Our house was really, uncharacteristically dirty that day, needing vacuumed, and popcorn dropped everywhere. What a mess! So look at cute Galen with the shawl crocheted by my Nana, and not at the house, Kay?

My daughter has an imaginary friend that she calls Nic-nac-no. Nic-nac-no has a mother named something like "Mendolin". Nic-nac-no is sometimes referred to as "she", and sometimes as "them". They apparently look like huge purple raccoons, but are not actually racoons. It is not clear what they are, but they drive down the street beside us in a "huge little, tiny red car", they teach her how to jump high and run fast, go on walks with us and sleep with her in her bed. Sometimes they come into our car and sit with her as well. I love that Reya has an imaginary friend. When I was a young adult, I used to love to watch the movie, "Drop Dead Fred". I had hoped that one of my children would have such a friend. I think it such a healthy, good thing in a developing child, and it's really fun.
Related or not, she spoke of a dream the other night about a big raccoon stuffed with string cheese that she ate. It seems that this was completely unrelated to the embodiment of Nic-nac-no, but it is an interesting possible correlation.

Smoochy Sisters

This is a hilarious picture from Thanksgiving day. My sister Nichole and I figured out that we share similar family prominent noses and protruding chins that make a head on kiss virtually impossible.
Pic taken by her husband Rick.

The final following the final- OBITUARY

I am donE, doNE, dONE, DONE!!! Took my last exam today, and posted my last two assignments tonight. I am officially on holiday break, now. Thank goddess! So here is my last Psychology assignment post. I had to write a fake obituary for myself. It was limited to 200 words, so I couldn't fit all of the important details that I wanted to, but here it is, for what it's worth( I cheated and added several words back in when I put it on the blog). I am sure that by the time I am ready to die, that I will want to add a few more things, and I hope I will have done all that I set out to!
OBITUARY
78 year old Danielle Susanne Glaser, of Portland, Oregon, passed over on Nov. 17, 2051. Known as Ani, she left the world smiling. Remaining, are her life partner, four adult children, eight chickens, two goats, two angora rabbits, two French lop rabbits, a cat, a peacock, and an affectionate, long eared Rottweiler. All will miss her nurturing care, love and companionship. She died on the fifty-fourth anniversary of her infant daughter, Luca Seaghul’s death, and some say that her smile was in expectancy of their reunion in the spirit realm. Ani enjoyed singing, playing bass and acoustic guitar, dancing, fiber arts, gardening, hobby farming, cooking, writing, learning, and mothering. She held a certificate in Waldorf Education from the Micha-el Institute, a BS in Developmental Psychology and a minor in fiber arts from the University of Oregon, and a MS in Occupational Therapy from Pacific University. Her greatest accomplishments were successfully raising happy, talented and inspired children; sustaining a fabulously thriving love relationship; and lead singing, touring and recording with her popular indie rock band, “Nymphalidae”.

A public gathering of remembrance will be held on Saturday, at the Hobbit Beach, near Florence Oregon, at 2PM. Seagulls will be caught and released holding bundles of her ashes to be dropped over “Grandmother Ocean”, and there will be singing in her honor. Some of her ashes will remain in a silver and moonstone urn, for keeping by her family.

The cause of death was painless heart failure naturally occurring with old age.

Umm- can't think of a title. Too tired.

Holy hell week leading into finals! This is the hardest school term I have ever had, other than the one that my preemie was born in the middle of, 10 years ago. I almost can't take it anymore. I am seriously falling apart. Too much to do to do anything well, and not enough time to sleep. I think I am about to screw up all of my hard work at the last minute. I'm not sure if I can pull through this time. What was I thinking? My children are not letting me get away with this school bologna with any grace, any longer. They are making my life hell until I find a way to get us into a healthier routine. What the he_ _ am I supposed to do now?

To Teach Rather Than Restrict

As a followup on my post about screening people for permission to parent and reproduce, here are some thoughts about the ethics of it all, and how it could work within people's basic rights:

The idea of disallowing people to be parents without a license or permission slip seems to me to be a violation of personal, reproductive and other rights. The desire to reproduce, to nurture a child, and to continue one’s family line is a basic desire, bordering on a need, that exists across cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds. Enforcing such a policy would be difficult at best, and maybe impossible or cruel. I do think that many people are doing a terrible job at parenting, and even at growing healthy babies in utero, much to the distress of the greater society. My hypothetical parental screening form was stringent. It included high standards for prenatal nutrition to ensure healthy birth weight, healthy placenta and the establishment of good cardiovascular health, glucose processing and metabolism for life. I required the mother to remain abstinent from harmful substances that could cross the placenta, inhibit proper growth, manifest in abnormalities and defects, and create fetal and infant dependencies. Included, was a requirement for abstinence from tobacco use and exposure, to ensure healthy birth weight, brain development, lung development, breathing and a reduction of the likelihood of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I also included some rather unconventional standards for healthy and conscious birth scenario choices. Natural birthing methods (especially home birthing when possible) are becoming increasingly known to aid mother and baby. These methods insure that medications will not get in the way of healthy hormone production, which is helpful to the comfort and productivity of the labor process. Also, natural birth often helps the baby develop better sensory integration later in childhood. Finally, and very importantly, the baby is allowed to stay with the mother during the crucial first moments and hours after birth for (again) good sharing of needed hormones, production of milk, bonding, and too many other benefits to name here. Additionally, I created standards for the immediate and near future after birth.
After healthy birth choices, I included a mother’s commitment to breast feed for good health and bonding if at all physically possible (barring circumstances such as adoption, physical limitations that cause insufficient milk production, same-sex male parental situation, etc.). The last requirement was a commitment to creating an emotionally healthy home environment for the baby, that would include secure parent-baby attachment and prompt meeting of needs, learning baby’s cues for better responsiveness, and a patient, non-yelling way of interaction.
While I think that all of these are incredibly important and needed implementations and cautions for baby development, I think that rather than impose restrictions on parenting when the criteria are not met, a more caring and fair approach would be to implement a parental training program. When parents failed to match the set standard for child rearing, they would be offered and encouraged (required?) to take up a mentoring relationship with accomplished and excellent parents. These mentors would be well versed in all of the most healthy and effective, known ways to grow and raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child. They would offer information, support, good modeling, and crisis assistance. They would not be government officials, but just people who could offer a helping hand. They would also uphold a mandatory reporting status just in case there were instances of abuse, neglect or serious, bad, parenting that could cause damage to the child.
One issue that I am uncomfortable with in this scenario, is how the program would be run and enforced. I don’t like the idea of governmental control for reproduction and parenting rights. I wonder if it would be possible for a separate, non-profit organization to take on this role, in cooperation with doctors and midwives, so that it would be just another feature that came along with health/prenatal care and pediatric health care?