Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Comments about parenting screening, for perspective.

Some conversation about my last post, that I thought should be on here to follow up and round out the subject from more perspectives. These comments came when I shared the post on a social networking site and got some feedback.

Ivana Deletis i have to play devils advocate: what about same-sex couples that want to be parents? they cannot meet some of your qualifications (gay dad's breastfeeding adopted infant?) so should they be denied the experience of parenting?

Ani Glaser
Oh my gosh, Ivana. You are right. The Psychology chapter that this was based on is mostly about prenatal development, so I was totally thinking of people getting screened who are trying to get pregnant. Of course adoptive parents of any g...ender and sexual orientation would have to have a different screening criteria. For one thing, the birth scenario would be non-applicable to the adoptive parents, and although men are actually able to stimulate milk production, and do in some cases (usually in other cultures), it is clearly not the norm. Also, I am aware that some women attempt to breastfeed, but cannot for various medical reasons. I guess in these cases that a good idea is to either have a wet nurse, or some access to a milk bank,so that all babies, even adopted ones can have the health benefits of breast milk, which are superior to formula. It would be helpful if there was more of a market for the sales and donations of expressed milk, for use by others who need it. I think that the FDA might get all worried about this, and go crazy with regulations, but I have always thought that with some of us producing so dang much milk (and needing a source of cash flow by the way), that we could spread the wealth of our baby juice, and get some reimbursement for it...for the good of all.

Evelyn Van Maren how about screening them before they ever have intercourse? i'm mostly talking about the pubescent males here. most mothers, when not under duress, can parent beautifully without any cues

Nico Swan
Personally I've never seen or heard of a parent parenting beautifully w/o becoming familiar with the cues from baby.
I am a parent (was a teen parent), I am a step parent, I've been a nanny. In every age & situation that I've experienced wit...h children it has required reading cues.

Elise McGiverin
I have typed and erased, typed an erased trying not to sound rude in my response. I think you can be a wonderful parent and raise wonderful kids without any of these things. I was induced... With drugs... Twice... In a hospital (gasp). I ha...ve nursed all 3 of my children and still am my almost 2 year old. My children are healthy and happy and not too screwed up;)
I think you can make it work with your circumstances, whatever they are! To say someone should be screened and not qualify to be a great parents if they don't nurse, don't have a natural birth etc is pretty harsh.
There is so much pressure on mothers today, some people arnt able to do all the things listed an have very haelthy happy children!!
My two cents! :D
Sorry for grammer punctuation errors, using my phone to post.

Ani Glaser
Sister Elise,
I think you are a wonderful parent. I really believe that. This assignment was completely hypothetical for my class, asking if there was a law to screen people, what would my choice for the criteria be?- I would never actuall...y take away a person's rights to parent, even if it was my choice to make a law. If I were to screen, I would rather screen in order to see in what ways people need education and/or support to be the best parents they can be. My opinion on the screening process and it's ethics or appropriateness is a whole separate assignment that I have to complete and turn in today. Maybe I should post it as follow up, since I probably made a lot of people mad with this one. I am very sorry if you are offended. I do have strong beliefs about negative effects that common hospital practices have on the births of babies, and on mothers. Some of the things they do can really mess with a mother's ability to attach as easily, as well as lead to some sensory issues in children, later. Not all people who undergo these procedures suffer from the problems, but many do. I am so happy that you were able to easily bond with your babies and breastfeed. I was scared when you got induced, because I wanted your babies to be fully ripe and ready, and I am so happy that your children are healthy and well adjusted. I love you and them. My main point in writing from the stance that I did on this paper, is because in my teaching position, I have seen some fairy poor situations, and unhealthy kids/families, stemming from some or all of these issues. Because of this, I have pretty serious opinions on it.








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