As a followup on my post about screening people for permission to parent and reproduce,
here are some thoughts about the ethics of it all, and how it could work within people's basic rights:
The idea of disallowing people to be parents without a license or permission slip seems to me to be a violation of personal, reproductive and other rights. The desire to reproduce, to nurture a child, and to continue one’s family line is a basic desire, bordering on a need, that exists across cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds. Enforcing such a policy would be difficult at best, and maybe impossible or cruel. I do think that many people are doing a terrible job at parenting, and even at growing healthy babies in utero, much to the distress of the greater society. My hypothetical parental screening form was stringent. It included high standards for prenatal nutrition to ensure healthy birth weight, healthy placenta and the establishment of good cardiovascular health, glucose processing and metabolism for life. I required the mother to remain abstinent from harmful substances that could cross the placenta, inhibit proper growth, manifest in abnormalities and defects, and create fetal and infant dependencies. Included, was a requirement for abstinence from tobacco use and exposure, to ensure healthy birth weight, brain development, lung development, breathing and a reduction of the likelihood of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I also included some rather unconventional standards for healthy and conscious birth scenario choices. Natural birthing methods (especially home birthing when possible) are becoming increasingly known to aid mother and baby. These methods insure that medications will not get in the way of healthy hormone production, which is helpful to the comfort and productivity of the labor process. Also, natural birth often helps the baby develop better sensory integration later in childhood. Finally, and very importantly, the baby is allowed to stay with the mother during the crucial first moments and hours after birth for (again) good sharing of needed hormones, production of milk, bonding, and too many other benefits to name here. Additionally, I created standards for the immediate and near future after birth.
After healthy birth choices, I included a mother’s commitment to breast feed for good health and bonding if at all physically possible (barring circumstances such as adoption, physical limitations that cause insufficient milk production, same-sex male parental situation, etc.). The last requirement was a commitment to creating an emotionally healthy home environment for the baby, that would include secure parent-baby attachment and prompt meeting of needs, learning baby’s cues for better responsiveness, and a patient, non-yelling way of interaction.
While I think that all of these are incredibly important and needed implementations and cautions for baby development, I think that rather than impose restrictions on parenting when the criteria are not met, a more caring and fair approach would be to implement a parental training program. When parents failed to match the set standard for child rearing, they would be offered and encouraged (required?) to take up a mentoring relationship with accomplished and excellent parents. These mentors would be well versed in all of the most healthy and effective, known ways to grow and raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child. They would offer information, support, good modeling, and crisis assistance. They would not be government officials, but just people who could offer a helping hand. They would also uphold a mandatory reporting status just in case there were instances of abuse, neglect or serious, bad, parenting that could cause damage to the child.
One issue that I am uncomfortable with in this scenario, is how the program would be run and enforced. I don’t like the idea of governmental control for reproduction and parenting rights. I wonder if it would be possible for a separate, non-profit organization to take on this role, in cooperation with doctors and midwives, so that it would be just another feature that came along with health/prenatal care and pediatric health care?
My daughter has an imaginary friend that she calls Nic-nac-no. Nic-nac-no has a mother named something like "Mendolin". Nic-nac-no is sometimes referred to as "she", and sometimes as "them". They apparently look like huge purple raccoons, but are not actually racoons. It is not clear what they are, but they drive down the street beside us in a "huge little, tiny red car", they teach her how to jump high and run fast, go on walks with us and sleep with her in her bed. Sometimes they come into our car and sit with her as well. I love that Reya has an imaginary friend. When I was a young adult, I used to love to watch the movie, "Drop Dead Fred". I had hoped that one of my children would have such a friend. I think it such a healthy, good thing in a developing child, and it's really fun.
