There is this man that I fell in love with three years ago. I didn't try to- I actually tried not to. It just happened like going insane. I posessed no ability to check myself with logic and reason. I was smitten and desperate. Of course with the intensity that I bring to most everything, this was over the top. I did the epitome of "too much too fast" in my interactions with him, knowing I was ruining it, yet unable to do anything else. I knew I was a curse to him, an older, divorced woman with two children, with a complex life, and fairly demanding in my relationship needs. I should not have been surprised when he quickly became smothered and overwhelmed, dumping me within days, yet I was completely devastated. I badly feigned the ability to take the news with grace, but became an obsessive almost stalker. The almost part means that I didn't actually follow him around, but it took every ounce of discipline that I had not to.
Just in the nick of time, Mystery Man came along to distract me. I began communicating with Mystery Man when we worked together at a health food store, where the above mentioned recipient of my affection worked with us. I was constantly talking (decompressing) to Mystery Man about my predicament- being painfully unable to get over this other guy, feeling obsessed, and the heartbreak, embarrassment and discomfort of it all staring me in the face right in my workplace. Mystery Man listened and tried to offer some advice. Somehow in the midst of this, he and I got closer and ended up together, and it stuck. I think in retrospect, that I became close to Mystery Man as a distraction, sometimes called a rebound relationship. It is complex, because I was so recently divorced, that both could have been considered to be on the rebound. Anyway, I think of the partnership that I am still in today, to be the actual rebound, just because the love that I felt for the other guy really stuck. I have never lost that sense of deep caring for him.
So why this story now? Well, I have done a lot of adjusting my mind set and rethinking my intentions, and have been able to begin to shift the nature of my feelings for this man. We have recently been in contact, and it is such a sweet relief to think of him simply as a loved friend, and to care about him more purely, like I do for my dearest friends. The intensity of my love has not lessened, but the nature of it has definitely changed. I was able to spend time with him today for the first time in a couple of years, and I had the most divine time. We walked to the river and talked. There was very little awkwardness or conflict of feeling and intention. I was able to look at him and feel the mellowness that comes with a comfortable friendship. He seemed more mature. I felt more mature. I haven't had a nicer day in as long as I can remember. Thank you to him for opening to the possibility of seeing me from a different angle. I look forward to knowing him more, now that we have gotten the B.S. out of the way.
Then to top off a beautiful day, I spent the evening with another loved friend who has a one week old baby girl. I brought them dinner, and ended up hanging out unexpectedly for about three hours. She was really craving the social interaction, and after she ate and nursed her baby for a looooong time, we went walking to the CSU flower gardens, and had great fun and conversation. I just loved today. I am so immensely and indescribably thankful for good friends!
Just in the nick of time, Mystery Man came along to distract me. I began communicating with Mystery Man when we worked together at a health food store, where the above mentioned recipient of my affection worked with us. I was constantly talking (decompressing) to Mystery Man about my predicament- being painfully unable to get over this other guy, feeling obsessed, and the heartbreak, embarrassment and discomfort of it all staring me in the face right in my workplace. Mystery Man listened and tried to offer some advice. Somehow in the midst of this, he and I got closer and ended up together, and it stuck. I think in retrospect, that I became close to Mystery Man as a distraction, sometimes called a rebound relationship. It is complex, because I was so recently divorced, that both could have been considered to be on the rebound. Anyway, I think of the partnership that I am still in today, to be the actual rebound, just because the love that I felt for the other guy really stuck. I have never lost that sense of deep caring for him.
So why this story now? Well, I have done a lot of adjusting my mind set and rethinking my intentions, and have been able to begin to shift the nature of my feelings for this man. We have recently been in contact, and it is such a sweet relief to think of him simply as a loved friend, and to care about him more purely, like I do for my dearest friends. The intensity of my love has not lessened, but the nature of it has definitely changed. I was able to spend time with him today for the first time in a couple of years, and I had the most divine time. We walked to the river and talked. There was very little awkwardness or conflict of feeling and intention. I was able to look at him and feel the mellowness that comes with a comfortable friendship. He seemed more mature. I felt more mature. I haven't had a nicer day in as long as I can remember. Thank you to him for opening to the possibility of seeing me from a different angle. I look forward to knowing him more, now that we have gotten the B.S. out of the way.
Then to top off a beautiful day, I spent the evening with another loved friend who has a one week old baby girl. I brought them dinner, and ended up hanging out unexpectedly for about three hours. She was really craving the social interaction, and after she ate and nursed her baby for a looooong time, we went walking to the CSU flower gardens, and had great fun and conversation. I just loved today. I am so immensely and indescribably thankful for good friends!
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