NO Show, NO Call, NO Fire

What a bizzaro day. I slept like hell last night, partly because I didn't go to bed until 3:30 AM, and partly because baby was restless and I was on edge, knowing I had to be up by 8. As it turns out, I didn't really have to be. I showered, made sure the place looked spiffy, made a pot of tea for my expected guests, and waited while I watered plants, fed the cat and paced. They didn't come. I called when they were almost an hour late, and she said she spaced it and was sorry. Her basement had flooded in the rains a few days ago, and the fixer people had come out to take care of it today. She said she'd call me back this afternoon to reschedule a tour of my preschool and to meet me. She didn't call. It sucks to have cleaned all night for someone who wasn't very seriously interested, or so it seems. Maybe she'll get around to calling me, but I am feeling doubtful.

So, I had the Woolly Mamas over here for the evening instead. We had a really great time. Ivy came, and we were all so glad to see her, because she hasn't been around for a month, due to vacations and various medical emergencies (her son was recently diagnosed with muscular dystrophy- poor little Rain has a huge struggle ahead of him, and he's such a happy little one year old).

Our potluck dinner was scrumptalicious as usual, because we all love to cook, and are good at it, too. The kids played with great fun, imagination and engagement in my new preschool room, and watching them enjoy the space that I created, gave me unspeakable happiness and fulfillment.

I am supposed to be sitting outside by the fire pit right now. Unfortunately, Mystery Man and his brother canceled the plan to hang out with me at the last minute, in favor of drinking at "Surfside". I had called another guy friend earlier today, and left a message to see if he wanted to come, too. He didn't call back. Therefore, I am burning electricity and typing, instead of burning wood and talking. Lonelier for sure, but hey, I do like to blog. I keep trying not to dwell in feelings of abandonment and neglect. Besides, just a few hours ago, I had a house full of women and children who love me. It seems to be a recurring theme, that whether it be conversation, assistance, company or love, these women will be there for me, and no one else. I have friends.

I just spent 10 minutes searching for my missing camera case, which contains the cable to upload pics. I wanted to show a pic of Mystery Man's cousin, lying fallen on the ground drunk by the fire a few days ago. No camera case, no cable, but in my search I grasped onto a bit of clarity. I asked myself, why was I wishing I was by the fire with a couple of drunk men? Boys? Men? Boys. I need not choose to be in this particular version of my life so fully. Glad all of a sudden, to be alone drinking raspberry juice mixed with lemonade, and dipping bread into garlic-basil olive oil. Ahhh.
Now it is time for much needed sleep.