All done babe

"All done babe" says Reya, wanting to get out of her highchair.  It's so funny when kids come right back at you with things that you forgot you ever said to them.

Today was so much better.  I am relieved that the struggles I experienced over the last few days are not the reality of my every day.  I was starting to worry.  Today I spoke on the phone to my dear friend, Wind, and somehow, the very sound of her voice makes everything turn sunshiney.  I think she is an angel.  One of many that I know, and who have cared for me.  Thank you universe, for surrounding me with angels.

It's all stormy out.  I wonder what's in store for my new home environment.  The wind is blowin' like Colorado out there.  If it were Colorado, it would mean snow is on the way.  I don't think that will happen here, but it could be a nice surprise.  It was all warm today, like right before a storm.  Snow would be nostalgic for me, as is the wind, since in some ways, I miss old Fort Collins.  I love when I get fond of things that I never used to appreciate.  It's like it takes a while to break me in.  A random example: I disliked the band Radiohead, for the entirety of an 11 year marriage, and for some reason, I started to like them a year or so ago.  My former husband would be annoyed, maybe, since I complained about them being played so much, in his painting studio at night, in a part of every house we lived in.  I guess it takes awhile to lose the old negative associations, and just appreciate something for what is, with sentiment in the familiarity of it.  So now, apparently, I feel sentimental about blustery nights.  Funny.

Today my Dad and his wife Jenny sent a care package.  It made me happy.  When we opened the door to the UPS delivery man, Reya said, "Hi Man", and then "Thanks Man".  It's really cute, this new way she addresses men she doesn't know.  Big prize item inside the box- a laptop computer!  Woo hoo!  Little sweet items, like books for my babies, Organic food items, new towels, a cool bib for baby, and more.  Thanks, Dad and Jenny.  Big smile in my heart!

There is at least one blue heron that hangs out in the creek by my house.  It is so beautiful!  It has this amazing blue wingspan that is three or four feet across, and I love when it takes off and flies straight over the water, all low.  I have this love for birds lately. Every time I see the heron, I don't have my camera.  Hopefully I'll capture the image soon, but for now, here's someone else's photo of  a heron, from the web.

Feeling so peaceful tonight.  Tomorrow is the anniversary of my little baby daughter, Luca's death, twelve years ago.  It is nice to have come to a place where the grief has lost it's sharp edge, and I can remember my little bright light with bittersweetness, and gentle tears.