I live a way down in the ground,
And everyone walks over me.
That is why I'm CRACKED you see.
I'm a nut (click tongue twice). In a rut (click tongue twice)
[repeat last line]
Ahem. I don't know what happened today. I thought things were nuts yesterday, but at least yesterday, we were outside most of the day, and after all that screaming, my daughter actually took a 30 minute nap. I feel shell shocked after today (like my pun?- hee hee :) ) . I thought, "Well, since walking her to sleep yesterday was so hellish, and she screamed like crazy for an hour even in the stroller, and I need a nap like nothin' else, then I am just going to cut to the chase today, and insist that we all lay down together and sleep."
To start from the beginning... She started the day crazy. First thing this morning she woke up with, "No Galen!", and a fist in his face. All he was doing was wiggling, kicking the air, and cooing, like any happy baby in the morning. Then I got him on the changing table to deal with the wet, morning diaper, where he was smiling and cooing pleasantly. Reya stood up on her tip-toes on the bed, bridging her body the 18 inches or so to the edge of the changing table, and sank her teeth into his little forehead. I caught her and removed her before he cried too hard, letting her know that biting was going to get her in BIG trouble today. After a breakfast of bear mush porridge and much screaming, because the whole entire pot was designated by her to be for her, with none allotted for her Mama, I actually let her finish my bowl as well, and settled on some Cascadian Farms, Organic, honey nut O's with raw goat milk for my morning meal. Shortly thereafter, baby fell asleep for a little while, allowing for some individual Reya time, which she grooved on fully, taking out many toys and books, clothing and various other objects and trashing the house most fully in a record amount of time. I allowed it, and sat and played with her and read to her, sensing that somehow she needed this, today. After baby awoke, we played more and took pictures of him sitting on the couch, laughed about his big spit-up, and emailed some pictures to Dad with full toddler participation.
Suddenly she bit his little hand, while he was in my arms. I immediately and wordlessly placed her in a bedroom with the door shut, and saw from the look on her face that she very correctly read the look on my face. I nursed baby to sleep, as he finished crying, while ignoring her deafening (even through a closed door) screams of "Mama let me out...Mama I peed on the carpet... Mama I be gentle Galen's hand..., and bang bang bang on the door", since I knew Galen needed me more urgently right then. This was one of the many moments daily, when one adult was not enough for two needy kids.
When he fell asleep, after just a few minutes, I took a deep breath, grabbed a clean-up rag and the bottle of Sri Racha hot sauce, then went to her with great calm. I opened the door, and said in a low, almost whisper, while looking down at the carpet, "is this where you peed?". "Uh-huh" she she said back quietly. "Okay, I'm cleaning it up", I said. Then, pulled her onto my sitting lap, held her tight, kissed her teary face and said quietly, I have hot sauce for your mouth, since your teeth hurt Galen again". "NOOOO", she cried, as I put a good tablespoon of the hot sauce into her drooly little mouth. She panted and wiped her tongue against my shirt for maybe ten seconds, then said, "that feels better now- I want more". She swiped the bottle from me, and sucked on it like a baby bottle of milk. Is she human? That much Sri Racha would be hard for me to handle all at once.
Just an hour or so later, she was playing and kissing with her little baby brother, and again, those evil little teeth went right into his upper lip, just under his nose. I grabbed for some Melinda's habanero sauce this time, not even stopping to comfort baby, and shook a gob of it into her mouth, hissing matter of factly in my I'm-really-close-to-yelling voice, "no more biting- NO MORE!". This time she actually cried from the heat, but only for a minute, then complained for a while, while I comfort nursed the baby, "I need sweet food ". I was glad she had to suffer a little over it.
Lunch time came, and we dug into some pinto beans with green onions, cheddar cheese and corn chips, with carrots on the side. She seemed to enjoy it and get full. Somehow it had gotten late, and at 3PM I noticed I eye rubbing and yawning. "Time for that no nonsense, lay-down, family nap", I thought. Yeah right. We lay in the dim room, blinds drawn until the sun went down- probably an hour and 45 minutes, with her screaming, kicking, climbing all over me, pushing painfully into me with elbows, chin, knees feet, forehead, you name it. Eventually she began yelling about me not holding her there (I had her in a firm embrace), and letting her "do the nap myself". Galen, who had cooperatively fallen asleep during the first two minutes of laying down, was awake and done napping. He wanted to get up and was being vocal about it. I told Reya I'd let her do it herself, and I'd be in the other room with Galen. She was whining for a snack, so I let her eat a banana in bed, then left her there to "do it herself". More screaming and door pounding. 25 minutes of it, to be exact. She was hysterical and almost hyperventilating, when I decided to go back in, and told her,"hey- don't be so upset. You're not on a time out. You just need a sleep. Please lay in bed." "La-a-a-ay with me", she sobbed, in that hiccuping way that one talks when they have been crying way too hard. This made me feel sympathetic. "Okay", I said, lets try it again, together. By now, baby was ready for another cat-nap, so he promptly fell asleep, while I offered a lullabye to Reya (for about the 9'th time that nap attempt period). "Sing Belle Mama", she ordered, not very politely. I did. Halfway through, "No Belle Mama". "Lets just be quiet now", I suggested. Then the little bugger actually ordered me out of the room, with more of that do-it-myself nap bologne. Now I was really irritated. Baby woke up and wanted to nurse more, so I told her that I wasn't going anywhere, because I was nursing. She began whining, "I'm peeing. I need to go on the potty. My diaper needs changed right NOW!" I disrupted baby's nursing session to attend to this potty emergency, and then we were all starving, so I said it was time for dinner, and then a bath, and then back to bed. Of course, I hadn't had time to cook a darn thing, so we had a comfort food meal of popcorn and mochi, because it was easy and I needed it, after all of that. She loved that, and was happy for a while, spilling popcorn all over the kitchen floor. She had another little (in comparison) fit about not wanting a bath, then ended up having fun, completely tearing apart my bath mitt, while I was off changing a diaper. After we cleaned up all the particles of mitt from the tub with background noises of baby cries, she resisted her diaper with final efforts, tried to turn on the light a few times after I turned it off, and cried another 10 minutes. She then actually said, "I love you", as she elbowed and kneed me, laying atop my body, and nuzzled into my neck. I went off to blog off some steam, and wind down, and would you believe, she has woken up fitfully one more time, to have me lay down with her while I was typing this? That is why it has taken me a looong time to tell this story. But you can't tell that, since it is posted when it's posted. Big exhale.
This is why I stay up too late, a lot. It's the only time I am not getting all touched out by kids, and it is so perfectly quiet, which I need, and I have to do something like unpack or clean the kitchen, sometimes, which I did not prioritize over blog-venting tonight!
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