We're Here!

I made it through the long night,
Dawn is breaking-
I made it through.

Here I am. I am in lovely, wet, green, mossy Eugene, Oregon with my two babies, and my two big boys will arrive in January after their long adventure in South America. I worked so hard to get to this point. Fundraising, planning, packing... I did it, and made it to a beautiful place, minus one boyfriend/father of little children that I made a point to leave. Now I must find a way to sustain us.

I find that I am terrified. I have been terrified since I stepped on the airplane that Samhain/Halloween evening, and became more so when I walked inside of my new, Oregon apartment the next afternoon, with my sister and her husband. I am afraid now, because I didn't have time to think about it in all the hustle and bustle of making the move happen. Now it hits me with gusto. I planned carefully, assuming that the college financial aid package would be enough to live off of, if I found a low priced rental. So far, the award letter looks insufficient, and I am getting declined for additional alternative loans. I turned in all sorts of requests for adjustments, but have not heard back from the University. Will there be money for rent in January and beyond? Will we be okay? I may not breathe fully until I find an answer to that question. Please readers do not be annoyed with the Google ads that I subscribed to on this blog. "Ad Sense" is one of my tiny efforts at generating a little more income. Sorry, really! I hate advertising, too.

SOOOO many friends in Colorado and family from other places gave me support through this move, and it all fell into place beautifully. I have such gratitude for the fact that I made it this far. I know that it was the right thing to do, because where we were was definitely not okay. I am trying so hard to have faith that everything will continue to work out.

Being a single mother is so far the biggest challenge I have ever faced. I frequently think that there is not enough of me for both the toddler and baby. Somehow, we get through each day, and I think the kids are generally pretty happy.

I am not handed anything in life that I cannot manage, right?